Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
