I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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