it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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