You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
