it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
