party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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