I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Randomize
