We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
did you just send me my own nude
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
