HIV tests are more positive than that guy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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