Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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