either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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