my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we're making bets on your personal life
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize