Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
