please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
