Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
