she woke up with a sticky ear
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Randomize
