as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
