U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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