when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's official drugs can't kill me
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
