I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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