I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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