I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
