That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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