he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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