Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
