I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
