I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
