the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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