When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
