this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
