operation harelip BJ is a go
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
