if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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