gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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