No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
