Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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