I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
