I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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