R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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