There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
