i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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