I love black thongs
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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