I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
