I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
