is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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