He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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