We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
