im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
