# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize
