I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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