i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
