and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
