If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Drunk is not a location!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
