he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
