don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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