I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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