We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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