im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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