So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
