you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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