dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
