GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
