Sacagawea was the original milf.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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