You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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